What bartenders wish they could say to sh*tty customers

Updated: 10 Jan 2019 | By:

[Photo: Aurélie Duboé}

Your newly appointed journalist, Aurélie Duboé, asked a few bartenders what they wish they could to say to rude customers, you know like Bob, Bob the douchebag. We all have met a Bob or two in our life. 

So this article is for you Bob, please read carefully...

A bartender is a human being like everyone, with hopes and dreams, feelings and emotions, a career, and bills to pay.  A bartender usually works in a bar/pub/speakeasy, essentially an establishment which is a public place where you are a guest, only a guest. 

In order to help you become a better person, follow these 10 rules when entering an establishment: 

1. You will be polite like your mama taught you (useful words: hello, hi, hey, good evening, please and thank you). - Abel Sukau, Skullduggery. 
2. You will look at, or ask for, the price before ordering. If you don't like what you're seeing, you are free to leave. - Junior, Wet Bar, W Hotel. 
3. You will order from the menu unless the bar is not busy and the bartender is willing to grant you your drink wish. - Chris Ang, Three X Co. 
4. You will not ask for a discount or a free shot, it’s a business not a charity. - Moe Saeed, Skullduggery. 
5. You will not drop names or assume the Asian lady greeting you is a waitress, she could be the owner. - Lolita Goh, (one of the owners of) JungleBird KL.  Or assume the Indian waiter who is serving you a drink isn't one of the owners. - Divyesh Chauhan (British and one of the owners of) JungleBird KL. 
6. You will not ask for a better/faster/stronger drink. If you are so good at it, open your own bar or just go home. - Ashish Sharma, Bar Trigona, Four Season KL 
7. You will not hit on/catcall the staff, if the bartender likes you, he/she will come to you.  - Valerie Arce, The Vault. 
8. You can return your drink and ask nicely to add more sweetness or whatever suits your palate and not just post on social media that the drink was shit. - Angel Ng, MY Bartender’s Handshake   
9. You will put your phone away and enjoy life/your cocktail/your friend's company/the bartender's company/silence. - Shawn Chong, Los Flowerpecker. 
10. You should get a room. - Valerie Arce, The Vault. 

Thank you to all the bartenders/bar staff who have contributed by sharing your stories. I do hope I was able to voice out some of your frustrations. 

And to you Bob, this is your chance to become a better person, don't mess with the people who are serving you. 

To summarize: don’t be a douchebag Bob. Thank you. 

- T -